Dear Annoying Texas Bugs,

At some point we have to come to an agreement when I go for my evening runs.  Please note the following:

 - I am not a Taxi. Please don't try to hitch a ride on me to your friend's house down the street.

 - I am not a target practice.  I do not appreciate you using your Taekwondo or fighter pilot skills on me.

 - I am not a moving swimming pool.  Just because I'm sweating profusely from the humidity does not mean I enjoy you taking up residence on my body because it's cooler for you.

 - I drink protein shakes and eat lots of chicken already. I do not need to ingest additional bugs to get my protein levels up for the day.

- I am not up for a conversation. Please do not buzz by my ears at lightspeed.  I will not respond.. well, I will, but not kindly.